3 months=big changes

All snuggled up in our tent in Quincy, Ca.  It was COLD!

People ask me if having a baby is everything I expected it would be. Well, no. Of course not. But I have what I now realize, is an unusual amount of experience with babies, so most of it is what I expected. The most surprising part of being a mom for me is the attachment. I mean, I knew I would have a new priority, but I literally can't get away. Ever. Or at least not for more than an hour or two and even that takes a lot of forethought and planning. You may think it seems obvious, but the extent of his attachment to me is quite shocking. And I have my mom and dad helping every day!

His favorite position, The Hover Chair, where he can see all the action.

Lance is a very social baby. Thank god because he lives with a huge extended family in a transient house. He doesn't mind just hanging out with everyone. He sits contentedly, as long as he is facing the action, and sometimes even chimes in on the conversation. Everyone tells us that he is exceptionally good looking and well behaved to which I say he better be because it took six days to convince him to break his parasitic bond, the least he can do is be exceptional now that he is here. And I will be that mom who reminds him of his slow birth when he is a surly teenager giving me a hard time about doing his chores. I'll say things like, “Taking the garbage out is not as bad as pushing your big ass head out for 2 and a half hours!”

Great Grand-Aunt Betty gets to love Lance.

We've decided that Lance is a camper. We've already camped twice with him and he has been perfectly happy and entertained both times. While in Quincy with Aunt Betty's family, Lance slept 4 and 5 hour stretches in the 40 degree nights. He liked the fresh mountain air. Unfortunately, he came back from that trip with his first runny nose. Clearly he has an excellent immune system because Grandpa Lance and Aunt Yuki came back with much worse then just a runny nose. But a runny nose is enough to disturb his sleep. He's back to 2 hour stretches and we can hear him choking on his own snot. I torture him with the blue bulb that sucks snot out of his nose. The problem is that when I start sucking it out he sucks it right back in. I have to try and catch the big boogers as they fly out of his nose before he inhales again. Sometimes he screams at me, not a crying scream, but a 'that is enough, woman' type squeal.

The whole family crowd in Quincy, CA.

Little Betty with Quentin, Emma with Lance, Karen with Mason.
The moms are 2nd cousins, the babies are 3rd cousins.

Lance reading.

Enjoying the hammock and his hands.

We don't bathe Lance every day. I've noticed that most parents these days have a daily bath ritual, but that just feels excessive to me. He doesn't sweat, he doesn't eat real food, he gets his bottom essentially sponge bathed many times a day, why wash all the time? I usually bathe him in the tub with me. I like that he can float and kick and splash which he just can't do in the little blue baby tub we have for him. I use that tub when he has a particularly explosive blow out. The kind where his turmeric colored poo is so wet that it leaks through all crevices and exceeds the absorbency capacity at the source so it has to flow up and out of the diaper all the way to his shoulder blades. That is when his baby wipe sponge bath feels downright insufficient.

Bath time at The Alden in St. Pete, FL

Lance enjoyed his first plane trip. We went off to Florida to hang with my college roommate Aimee, her wife, Bridget, and their twins, Canon and Pheonix. We also met up with the WAIFWYP crew (Why am I friends with you people?) and some other college buddies, Amanda and Heather and their kids. Since we were in Florida, Leighton's brother, Junior, drove the 4 hours to the opposite coast so that he could see us and meet Lance.  It was a fabulous vacation and fun to see all the babies of different ages. Lance didn't mind the plane at all. The flight attendants and passengers all fell in love with Lance and noted what a good baby he is. We love to hear it!   

Lance bonding with Bridget

Uncle Junior finally meets Lance

Leighton scares us all by throwing Canon.

The twins!  Canon generously passes down all of his old clothes to Lance.

Amanda, Heather, Aimee all played volleyball at Georgia Tech, Me and Bridget are the tag alongs!

Aimee, Bridget and I with the next generation

Me and Aimee schooled the boys in a beach volleyball match

Laura with Canon, Aimee with Pheonix, Emma with Lance.  Babies, beer and beach.

Our Mexican baby.

The family on the beach

LJ is almost 3 months

Lance has discovered his hands!

LJ has discovered his hands.  He looks like he is praying a lot of the time, but mostly he is just grabbing his own hands and then stuffing them into his mouth.  This also means that he can sort of grab things and kind of bring them to his mouth to try and figure out what they are.  It is a new adventure.

I noticed recently during bath time that he has a dark patch on his butt.  It looks like a big bruise, which seemed odd since he's pretty much always enjoyed soft, fluffy comfort.  I asked Charity and she explained that it is probably "mongolian spots" (http://www.whattoexpect.com/first-year/baby-care/baby-skin-care/mongolian-spots.aspx) Apparently they are common in babies of color.  So now you know, all of my mixed baby-mamas!  It is just a pigment variation that usually disappears after a year.  He also has what could be a birthmark on his leg, though it may just be another spot.

I've started playing volleyball on Mondays and the mom guilt is intense.  Lance does NOT enjoy my being gone in the evenings and he shows his indignation with hours of screaming, which the babysitters (grandma, grandpa, uncles, aunts and daddy) do not find helpful or fun.  He won't take the bottle, he won't sleep, he can't be distracted or consoled.  The minute I come home and hold him, he is perfectly content.  Unfortunately, I thought evenings would be a great time for me to get away.  After all, Leighton would be home to take care of Lance and I could get out and have a life.  Now that I've signed up to play volleyball and teach 2 nights a week, I've discovered that this is the worst time to try and get away.  Evening= mama time.

When I discovered that my poor son was suffering each evening that I left him, I turned to my best friend Yolanda.  She texted, "being a mom is so hard!  you are doing a great job and have a very happy little man".  It made me realize that not enough people praise mamas.  There is so much judgement, advice, personal stories, and not enough plain old empathy and recognition.  So many of my friends are pregnant or have just had babies and we're all amateurs.  My new mantra: remember to listen and praise those new moms, acknowledge and empathize.  It's a big scary job and I want to hear that I'm making reasonable choices that will work out in the end.

Emma, Lucy and Nana, smiling extra big to try to get Lance to smile...Hilarious!

Speaking of new moms, two of Lucy's new mom friends opened my life to a new world of sleep.  The problem has been that Lance Julian has an uncanny ability to escape out of any swaddle.  We instantly rejected using a regular blanket; even the pros couldn't keep him swaddled.  But even the velcro swaddles aren't strong enough to hold him in (our little Houdini).  Brilliance of all brilliance--the double swaddle!  First, we swaddle him in a blanket, then we place that whole baby burrito* into a velcro swaddle.  We tried it and he slept for 4 hours!  Now it is our nightly habit and he is regularly sleeping 5 hour stretches.  It is amazing!

Our most exciting news is that Uncle Karl and Aunt Yuki are having a baby girl in February!  The cousins will only be 8 months apart and will get to grow up together.  And the new parents will be living with old pros.

*Since he is Filipino and so skinny, we decided that instead of calling him the baby burrito, he really is a baby lumpia when he is all swaddled.

Eva and Justin came over to meet Lance and make us brunch.

My TBS colleagues finally meet Lance.  Tanya enjoys el bebe.

I'm telling you, LJ fully stands with just a little balancing hold.  So strong.