Lance's first week.

Tired Dad

Uncle DJ

Great Uncle Bob

Aunty Lex

Aunty Betsy

Where I spend my days...on the couch.

Uncle Mark

Odavia meets Lance

The Ehmann Family

The wedding we missed last weekend

All agree that Lancito is exceptional.  He's already holding his head up, he tracks with his eyes, he latched right on to the breast and he has great taste in music.  Our first week home has been filled with visitors.  Yolanda and Daniel came over on Sunday morning and saved us.  They held LJ, made us breakfast and hung out.  It was just what we needed.  We've pretty much had a steady stream of guests since then.  There isn't all that much to do, he's either sleeping or eating, but everyone seems to enjoy themselves.

Grandma and Grandpa are AMAZING!  They shop, cook, clean up and wait on sore mama every day.  We look forward to day break when we can pass Little Lance off and take showers and breath a bit.  Grandma and Lolo (grandpa in Tagalog) have found that Lance loves being sung to.  His favorite song so far is "Swing Low Sweet Chariot" and he is partial to other gospel songs.  We spend a lot of time singing, sometimes we're lucky enough to be accompanied by Drew on the guitar or Yuki on the piano.

Dan and Yolanda save us.

I'm in charge of food in--constant breast feeding--so it seems fair that Leighton is in charge of food out--he has quickly become a champion diaper changer.  There has only been one pee spraying and there was one late night incident featuring a backwards diaper versus one of Lance's powerful poop discharges--the poop won.

Anniversary Dinner

Grandma and Grandpa celebrated 37 years being married on June 15th.  Karl celebrated his 34th bithday on June 16th.  Leighton and I celebrated our 1 year anniversary on June 20th.  Susie made delicious meals for each event.

LJ got his first dinner party on June 25th thanks to Dan and Yolanda.  They made an amazing and HUGE paella for a small crowd of 15 Hillegass House Homies.  Lance got passed around and was sufficiently cute to get everyone gushing.  Apparently we wiped him out too because he slept wonderfully that night.

In sadder news, my grandma, Barbara Lance Batten died Monday morning.  She was an extremely smart woman, graduating Phi Beta Kappa from UC Berkeley in the 40s, a time when most women were not going to university.  She also raised four boys (all over 10 pounds at birth, I might add) from the stories I've heard, her life was not easy.  She died quickly and left us with a beautiful birth, a boy to carry on the Lance family name.

Tupac onesie from Neha

Aunty Cha practices having 2 babies! 

Lance-a-little and Lance-a-lot

Mark, Miguel and Yolanda admire Lance

Michelle comes to visit

Grandma sings him to sleep

LJ Fan club

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Lance Julian Ford

"They don't call it labor for nothing"--Grandpa Lance

We last left off on Tuesday of my pre-labor.  After no sleep and regular contractions, we went to see the OB on Wednesday afternoon only to find out I was only 2 centimeters dilated!  Bad news after three days of contractions and very little rest.  We went out for spicy food, walked as much as I could handle and hoped for progress.  By that afternoon I was in tears after most of the contractions.  I was exhausted, having horrible back pain and frustrated!  Michelle came over and helped us stay at home for what was finally full labor.  She showed Leighton how to press my lower back during contractions to ease the back pain.  We were so exhausted that we were literally falling asleep in the 2-4 minutes between contractions.  By midnight, I couldn't take it anymore.  We decided to drive to Kaiser.

We tried walking between contractions, when one hit, Michelle was my brace, Leighton squeezed my back.

When they finally get around to checking me in triage, I was only 3 centimeters!  I wanted to cry.  We did an ultra sound and found out that, yes, Roasty was turned sideways so he wasn't properly pushing on my cervix and helping labor move.  We decided to go home and try to get further along, but not without a glorious shot of morphine in the butt to help me get some rest.  That only gave me about an hour and a half of rest.  Leighton and I spent the rest of the time in the hot tub, from about 4am-6am, until Michelle came back over.  The exhaustion was too much.  At this rate, I wouldn't have the energy to push, back to Kaiser.  

They checked and...only 4 centimeters!  Spirits low, we went for plan B.  We stayed, got an epidural and started pitocin.  Me and Roasty weren't going to be able to do this alone.  Once on the epidural, I could finally get some much needed sleep.  But I was hooked up to a million things--IV in my hand, epidural in my back, catheter, blood pressure machine on the other arm, and blood oxygen finger monitor.  Rolling over took some help.  Grandma Susie showed up with some entertainment and then we waited and waited and waited and waited.

Thursday afternoon, waiting...

I glanced at the clock--1:30pm, I was missing the 8th grade graduation at my school.  We kept our eyes on the time, wondering if Roasty would share a birthday with Uncle Karl.  Leighton and I were still holding out hope that we could maybe make it to Sam and Eleanor's wedding on Saturday, if only Roasty would hurry up.  Finally some good news.  Around dinner time, the doctor comes in to check again and...we're at 8 centimeters!  It was working!  Joy and high fives all around.  Then more waiting.

The next check, we're at 9 centimeters, the next one, 9.5, the next one, 9.5 again.  Finally, Dr. White decided to help the last half a centimeter along and...more waiting.  He was at -1 station, meaning his head was almost all the way down on my cervix, we just wanted to let him get a little lower before pushing.  My epidural was not very strong.  I had to get two booster shots which was an erie sensation of cold liquid down my back.  I was feeling the contractions more and my back was killing me.  

For about 2 and a half hours, I pushed that huge baby out.  I waited for each contraction and then took a deep breath, pushed for 10 second, another deep breath, push for 10 second, another deep breath, push for 10 seconds and then wait for the next contraction.  At first I couldn't feel the baby and it was hard to tell what the heck I was doing.  Everything hurt and I kept asking, WHAT IS HAPPENING?  IS ANYTHING HAPPENING?  At one point I opened my eyes and the only people in the room were Leighton and Michelle.  Apparently, all the doctors and nurses went in the hallway for a coffee break!  Another point I remember was about an hour into it when everyone got excited--we see his head!--I thought that meant I was close.  So so so wrong.  

As he got further down the canal, it got more and more painful.  I could feel massive pressure, the contractions were constant, my back was killing me, I was ready for Plan C--don't they have a vacuum or something?  Help a sister out!  I pushed on one side, then switched to the other, then used the squat bar, then back to the side, then back to the squat bar.  I was really starting to wonder if the baby would ever come out.  I could feel Dr. White using her hands to twist his head and help stretch him out.  People starting getting more excited and more encouraging, but I didn't kid myself that this meant anything, I had been fooled once already.  At 6:05 am his head came out and the rest of his body came flying out behind.  He was covered in shit.  Leighton caught him, cut the cord and they whisked him off to be cleaned.  He had the biggest cone head!  I didn't even know that was possible.  Evidence that he wasn't quite pointed the right way--his cone was off to one side.  

9.3 ounces.

Cone head!  That is not a shadow...

They finally brought him to me and honestly, I wasn't really sure what to make of this creature that had just put me through that week of hell.  He didn't scream at all.  He's beautiful--dark hair, big nose, big lips, long toes.  He's extremely strong.  He lifts his head up, he grabs and pulls.  They weighed him in at 9.3 oz and 22 inches long.  All visitors, doctors, and nurses comment on how handsome he is.  Once we made it to the recovery room, I had forgiven him and I fall more and more in love with him every day.  

We are hanging out at home, trying to sort out this new life.  Grandma and Grandpa come over every day and give us relief, cook for us, and generally take care of us.  We are up for visitors and are around all day every day, so give either Leighton or I a call if you want to come meet Little Lance.  He'll either be asleep or eating.  

   

Proud Grandma and Great Aunt

Papa is not sure what to make of him either.

Auntie Cha and Auntie Yo bring Champagne!

Why did you hurt me so much?

Sarah and Ted, in town for the wedding, get to meet Lance on his birthday.

It took us until Sunday to be sure we had the right name.  He is Lance after his grandpa, a person both Leighton and I admire and we hope our son can be just as smart, generous, hard working and thoughtful.  He is Julian after Leighton's Uncle Julian, known as Uncle Jolly.  Uncle Jolly, Leighton's mother's brother, came to Jamaica from the Philippines for his sister's wedding and never left.  Leighton has fond memories of spending time with Uncle Jolly and Aunt Emy and their son, Julian (known as Kenny) in Lucea.  Leighton's brother, Gerald Julian Ford is also name after Uncle Jolly and he and Roasty share the same birthday.      

39 and 40 weeks--the end?

Roasty on his due date, June 14th

Did I mention the stretch marks?  A few weeks ago I was lying on the couch with my legs up on my sweet honey.  Of course my belly was hanging out because nothing fits me, not even maternity clothes, and Leighton looked over and remarked, lovingly of course, "hol' on, are those stretch marks?"  "Whaaaaa?" I responded, frantically trying to see, but that region of my body has been unknown and unseen for a few months now.   I lumbered off the couch and did a back bend in front of the mirror to see my fine belly defiled by nature.  Crushed.  Doula Michelle took one look and assured me that the marks were minor and would go away.  Here's to hoping.

When my mom was pregnant with her first baby, she had to make most of her maternity clothes.  We still had this tie dye moo moo in the attic.  Lance got out his nice camera for a last chance belly glamour shots.  Hopefully, this is one of the last days with Roasty inside!

In other bright news I'm so bloated that when I get up in the morning everyone takes one look at me, cocks his or her head to the side, furrows a brow and asks if I'm feeling okay.  "I'm fine.  I'm just carrying around 10 pounds of fluid for he who is not yet named".   After schmoozing at Karl's birthday party for a while on my feet, Leighton looked down in horror at my bright red, puffy feet sticking out of my little black shoes.  That's just how it is now.

Today is my official due date and there has been action.  Starting Sunday night, I've been having what I thought were gas pains.  Turns out Grandma Batten thought she was having gas pains when she was in full labor and almost had my dad on the toilet!  Anyway, I noticed the "gas pains" were coming every five minutes.  I didn't sleep much that night and meant to call Doula Michelle at 6am, but I accidentally called cousin Michelle and told her voicemail all the gory details...whoops!  Then we wondered why our doula was taking so long to call us back.  So embarrassing.

Doula Michelle says it sounds like my body is getting ready slowly.  I'm probably effacing.  This will probably continue each night because that's when the hormones are right.  She was right; I had "gas pains" again last night from about 1am-4am.  Michelle says I should try to rest all day since I'm clearly not going to get much rest at night.  And we should expect that the "gas pains" could turn into full on labor any day now.

everyone says rest while we can!

 It's exciting to know that Roasty is finally on his way, but it's also maddening that he's dragging it out like this.  Just do it, baby!  It's also not looking good for making it to Sam and Eleanor's wedding this Sunday, which is so disappointing.  Everyone should think happy, flowing, birthing thoughts, so that Roasty will come out and meet the world!

I forgot to put this on my last post.  Drea: due October, Emma: due June, Katie: due September

Week 38!

Working on those progress reports!

I am now 210 pounds and I feel every last one of them!  I'm definitely bloated these days.  The wedding ring is off, flip flops are the shoe of choice and my face looks like the marshmallow man every morning.

Excited grandparents

 I've had a bit of trouble sleeping, but it sort of comes and goes.  I think I'm having some anxiety about getting everything done at work, getting everything ready here at home and of course, labor.  So I wake up to pee and then can't fall back asleep.  And no matter what time I go to bed I am wide awake at 6am.  I guess my body is preparing me for having to get up lots for a crying, hungry baby.

Roasty is moving a lot.  I'm able to play with him in utero a little.  He kicks me, I poke him back.  Sometimes we can do it for a while.  I'm hoping he enjoys it so much that he'll want to come out and play for real!

The table

The presentation of books

We had our grandparent baby shower this weekend.  It featured food from all of the ethnicities in Roasty's extended family: dim sun from China, patties from Jamaica, Bulgogi from Korea, soda bread and dubliner cheddar from Ireland, naan and various masalas from India, sushi from Japan and fruit from the good ole' USA.  The table was beautifully set up by Cousin John with alstroemeria from Aunt Judy.  Guests all thumb printed the baby tree drawn by Aunt Yuki.  The best part was the presentation of books.  People told wonderful stories of the books they remembered as kids or the books they read to their kids.  It was very sweet.  And now we have a great collection of books to read to Roasty.

Cha and Naima stamp the tree

sampling the watermelon

cousins Oliver and Rexland

Aunt Yuki and Uncle Karl

cousins Annie, Katie and Grace

DJ prepares his s'mores

As the party wound down, Leighton made an awesome fire.  And with a fire, there must be s'mores.  Luckily, we always have our stash ready.

S'mores all around!

We're still working on names.  I was g-chatting with our roommate, Froy, who is spending the summer in China (where he can't check my blog!) and he was giving us name ideas.  One of my concerns is that all of the names Leighton likes are very adult, serious names and I wonder what we will call the baby.  Froy said we just need to come up with good nicknames, duh.  But none were coming to me.  Froy started throwing out all kinds of great ideas and I complimented him on his nicknaming abilities to which he replied, "I'm Mexican, we don't have names, we have nicknames".

Cousins plot to catch Momo

The boys admire big mama

I'm so glad Roasty has all of these influences so every detail will be accounted for!

Week 37!

Roasty is now "full term" so he can come out whenever he wants (I'm ready).  He's over 6 pounds and is the length of a stalk of swiss chard.  We're very curious to see what color eyes Roasty will have.  Leighton has light eyes, my dad has blue eyes, my brother has hazel, so could we have a black haired, blue eyed baby?

The stoop

We went to Chamakome last weekend to help with Eleanor and Sam's wedding preparation. Yuki and Betsy planted the whole vegetable garden, Karl, Lance, Leighton and DJ built a stoop for the study, Susie and I made tandoori chicken, naan, raita and two delicious fruit tarts to feed all of the hard workers. We stopped at Valley Ford Market on the way up on Karl's suggestion to get oysters.  They were HUGE!  Even big mouth Leighton couldn't suck them down in one bite.

The veggie garden

We're still really struggling with a first name.  Leighton likes all the proper English names so common in Jamaica--Douglas, Duncan, Russell--I seem to like religious names--Elijah (but it's climbing up the popularity chart, no good for us). I think we should name him Kingston.  It's strong and is an homage to the homeland.  Leighton claims the Jamaican family will think it's way too weird--thoughts?

We have the baby room pretty much complete.  We're already getting rid of stuff that we have acquired.  We're desperately trying to keep it simple.  Lance and Susie bought us an Ikea rocking chair which I love.  Lance built us a book shelf for all of our new baby books.  And I convinced Leighton to get rid of most of his old textbooks and notebooks!  This means a whole shelf has been cleared!

I'm still working.  School ends on June 17th, I'm due on the 14th. I've arranged my schedule, with the help of my amazingly supportive colleagues, so that I get a lot of extra time off.  So far, so good.  My school doesn't give grades, instead we write these very details "progress reports" that outline all of the strengths and challenges of each child.  They take about 45 minutes each and I have 50 students.  Usually, we work on these the week after school gets out, but because I may have a baby, I'm trying to get them done ahead of time.  I'm making good progress, but it is a stressful obligation to to have hanging over my head.

We met with Michelle, our doula, again and practiced labor and birthing positions.  She kept commenting on how strong I am and how helpful that will be as we move around.  She had more bad news about Oakland Kaiser.  The new batch of OBs are being very anal about a lot of obnoxious rules--no cameras, no positions except on your back, no unstrapping the baby heart monitor (which means limited mobility), no outside food (even for dad), no personal clothing (must wear the horrible hospital gowns)...The good news is that Michelle knows all of the doctors and nurses and so she knows who are the less strict ones that we can request.  She also knows all of our rights and how to advocate for what we want in a way that won't piss them off (clearly, I won't be talking).

Yuki and Momoca go to a Tsunami fundraiser

Also, as we get closer to the birthday we're thinking about how to let everyone know.  Leighton is going to try and write an email for the majority of the family and friends, but we'll also post the news on this blog.  Make sure you are signed up to get an email notification when the blog is updated.  You can do that by typing your email address in the box on the right that says "follow by email". Then hit submit.  Feel free to call or text either of us to check in.  We'll get back to you if we can!

Bike shed progress--roofing.